hijab mother breastfeeding is not easy aqa's note

My Breastfeeding Journey Is Not Easy But…

(Last Updated On: August 22, 2023)

My breastfeeding journey is not easy but it did get better over time.

My baby just entered two months and I’ve tried all the tricks from the book—EVERYTHING!

Questions like “how to breastfeed”, “breastfeeding for dummies” and “how to get started with breastfeeding” are frequently typed on my Google search bar.

It helped me at certain point.

But, in this post, I’ll basically be naked and provided you with tips based on my experiences.

Also my point of view as I’ve tried breastfeeding, pumping, and formula feeding.

Currently, I’m a freelance mom who’s trying to do exclusive breastfeeding, and here’s my breastfeeding journey that is worth reading, especially for a new mom out there!

my breastfeeding is not easy aqa's note

Why I decided to breastfeed

The straightforward answer is to save the money.

As a freelancer, I don’t have a fixed salary and the least I can do is to breastfeed (from my POV). In order to save from purchasing formula.

Secondly, it’s easy to travel as all I need is my boobies to feed.

But… good things come with a price.

work from home mother breastfeeding is not easy aqa's note
Multi-tasking as it best.

My expectation of breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is definitely a practical game. No matter how much I read books or watch videos on the internet, you won’t know IT until you try IT.

It’s not just putting your infant’s mouth directly into your nipple, laughing, and looking happy like in every stock photos.

There is more to it—you need to teach them how to latch PROPERLY.

This is really important because you will solve 1001 problems.

You won’t get nipple cracks, fissures, soreness, and anything related to hurting your breast.

Latching may look easy, but not when you (a first time mom) and your baby still adjusting to the world.

Plus, with stitches on our vagina, the confinement period is not really a rest and fun time. At least, that’s what I’m experiencing.

My early breastfeeding journey that I share on my Instagram story.

Early day of breastfeeding

During pregnancy, some mom may start lactating.

I’m lactating on the 3rd day after a masseur did the breast massage on me.

The situation is completely normal. Different individuals body may react differently.

The liquid gold known as colostrum will first come out, and this milk is important as it contains antibodies to help build your newborn immune system.

colostrum after marmet aqa's note
This is how colostrum looks like! Golden in colour, thick and sticky too.

Our baby had jaundice on the 3rd day and was warded in NICU for around 3/4 days.

When you are not room in with your baby, marmet (manually express milk) will definitely help you a lot during this period.

That’s if you decided to proceed to give your breast milk to the kids. I was mixed feeding with formula as my breast milk was just about to build up.

All I was thinking at that time is the baby wellbeing.

The more frequent baby get rid of the stool, the faster it is to treat the jaundice.

The breastfeeding problems and challenges

I had a good start, the baby knows how to latch.

But, he needs to relearn again when he was separated from me during the warded period in NICU.

It’s starting to go downhill from there.

When I latched him, he won’t open his mouth bigger.

At the end of the day, he just bites the nipple area. As a first-time mother at that time, I was like, it’s okay, as long he got to drink mindset.

I also wore a nipple shield at that time due to flat nipple condition.

So, it’s hard to do chin-to-nipple and nose-to-nipple to help with the correct attachment.

Due to that, I experienced nipple crack very quickly.

Then, nipple fissure, where nipple skin rips off. THESE ARE SUPER PAINFUL AND LEFT ME TRAUMATISED TO LATCH MY BABY.

LactApp Stages of Nipple Damage Aqa's Note
Stages of Nipple Damage by LactApp

Most of the people I asked will replied “this is a normal.”

And advices to continue breastfeeding like normal. Because when the baby suck—breast milk came out and it can help to heal the wound.

Of course, with one condition, your latch needs to be correctly done.

After endless try and error. The pain won’t go away and I hysterically crying and getting traumatized by the pain.

So, I decided to stop for a while. I even consider stopping breastfeeding forever.

I stopped direct feeding for a week.

How I deal with these breastfeeding challenges

Well, I cried hysterically. But joke aside, here are my breastfeed tips that I can provide to you based on what I’ve gone through.

  • I did the marmet technique, mixed with formula feeding.
  • After one week, the wound healed, but I still can’t forget the pain. Instead of nursing, I start pumping. I did Hakka, wired and hands-free pumping. With additional formula feeding as well.
  • I wake up every 2-3 hours (most of the time) and even did power pumping. That’s how determined am I to feed my baby my breast milk.
  • One day, when my mental condition is fully healed. I dare to latch him again, but with the “flipple” technique aka the koala hold.
  • Honestly, it’s definitely less painful from the cross-cradle position and he gets to open his mouth wider than before when I lean back as well.
  • I will also let the baby feed on the least hurt breast before feed on another side. Usually, the first suck will be a bit stronger than the second one.
  • If you really cannot do on both breast. Try tandem breastfeeding and make sure to get the milk out. This to avoid engorgement that will lead to mastitis.
  • During night feed, I did the side-lying position safely. This YouTube video help me to get into painless latching position.

Resources and tools that help me during recovery

How to troubleshoot breastfeeding problems? There are few breastfeeding resources and tools that help me along with the recovery.


  • The BF Journal:
    • Mira Tahar is a breastfeeding & baby cry/sleep PC offer beastfeeding and baby cry solution.
    • I booked a one-to-one session to troubleshoot why the breastfeed part is painful.
    • She referred me to the clinic because my baby may had tongue tie.
  • Klinik Famili Gravidities
    • A family clinic by Dr Zarina and Dr Iliya focusing on women, children and health awareness. It’s the 1st breastfeeding clinic in Klang Valley.
    • We went to the clinic and Dr Zarina prescribed me with AftaMed spray and supplements to help to soothes the inflammation and helped with milk production.
    • She even teached me few techniques on how to latch correctly. And to do oral stimulation since our baby tongue tie problem is not serious and don’t require franectomy.
  • Breastfeeding support groups
mira tahar and klinik famili gravidities breastfeeding aqa's note
I post a lot on Instagram story about my breastfeeding journey.
nipple cream aqa's note
Here are the nipple cream and oral spray that I used.


  • Breast milk + AftaMed spray:
    • I manually press the breastmilk and spread on the nipple area. Then spray it with AftaMed.
  • Nursicare
    • Nursicare is therapeutic breast pads and my number one saviour. It literally healed my nipple crack and fissure faster than lanolin cream. It is super soft as well! The only downside is, it may be expensive for certain people.
  • Lanolin cream that I used before discover the above method:
  • Breast pads
    • Disposable helps during the confinement period. I recommended Lunavie, it’s soft for the sensitive nipple. Please wear it with a nursing bra.
  • Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Nursing Butter Nipple Cream
    • Currently Palmer’s Nipple Cream is my go-to cream after all the nipple crack and fissure are gone. It helps to soothe and moisturise nipple due to constant breastfeeding.

Honestly, this is when I realised that breastfeeding ain’t cheap either at this early stage.

After you recovering, you need to take care your happiness, eating healthy and (still) help the baby latch properly.

The rewards

Alhamdulillah, I’m currently fully breastfeed while I’m still at home—and it’s rewarding.

Especially when I know that my breastmilk is actually enough for him.

How? I saw frequent changes in diapers especially due to peeing.

Pooping? According to Healthline: Your baby is only being breastfed or chestfed they may not poop every day. This is because their body can use up almost all the components of breast milk for nutrition and there is very little left that needs to be eliminated.

I also saw him getting healthier and weight increasing during two month check-up.

Most importantly is the connection.

Honestly, I didn’t see myself being a mom and during this breastfeed journey, something about it makes me more motherly than ever.

Lili thoughts

I would say, never boast about something you never experience.

Before I had this roller coaster ride, I boastly said that “I won’t use formula at all.” and “How hard can breastfeeding can be, it’s easy right?.”

It’s hard. Mentally, for me.

Oh, the physical can heal but mentally forever stuck in my mind.

That’s one of the reasons I want to write this long post.

To help first time mother to prepare mentally and prevent them to go through such pain.

And I also realised, it doesn’t matter how you feed your baby as long he’s well-feed.

YOU DO YOU MOMMA. I’ve tried it all and each ways of feeding have their own sacrifices.

To exclusive breastfeed, exclusive pumping and formula feeding mom, we are all a rockstar.

Aqa’s Note is an ADS-FREE BLOG!
Do you find this post helpful? Support Aqalili Azizan by donating here:

DuitNow: 181054498301

touch n go ewallet aqalili azizan

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Prev Post

Bed One Block Hostel: A Convenient and Affordable Hostel in Bangkok!

Next Post

Supermama Lab Air Plus Breast Pump Honest Review